It's been awhile since I've done any Kid Funnies - in part due to the fact that I'm around my kids a lot less. Nonetheless, they DO still say some hilarious things, and I sometimes have the presence of mind to write them down for publication! Here are a few of late:
Plato had his half-birthday celebration at school last month. He is a summer baby so never gets to do his ACTUAL birthday at school. He got to be the "Star of The Week," brought treats, the whole 9 yards. When I asked him about his special day, he said excitedly,"Mom!! For my birthday? In Music? The whole class sang happy birthday to me and I got to hit a BONG!!!"
I was speechless for a few seconds. Seeing the look on my face, he explained, "You know, like when we were at the Mongolian Grill and I put a tip in the jar and got to hit the BONG and make that loud noise?"
"Oh!! Honey, I think you mean a GONG..."
My dad sent us some pictures in an email of the President's visit to his hometown. He was involved in preparations for the President's visit, and got to watch the helicopters land and the president go to his limo, all from the roof of his work building. One of the pictures he sent was titled, "My Friends," and was a photo of 3 snipers posing with their "golf bags."
Try explaining snipers to a 4-year-old. Plato got it, but Lulu was just confused. I used an example of a butterfly flying across the street.
"See that butterfly? A sniper could shoot it with a gun and not miss it. They're really really good at shooting things."
She processed this for awhile, then asked, "....sooooo, they like to shoot butterflies?"
"No, honey, that was just an example!! Butterflies are small, and that one is far away, and a sniper can shoot something small from very far away, that's all I'm saying."
She was not to be deterred. "But butterflies won't hurt you, so you SHOULDN'T SHOOT THEM!!"
JeepMan: "I brought you kids some gum, who wants some?"
Plato: "What kind is it?"
Plato: "Sediment? What kind of gum is THAT?!?"
And the not-s0-funny:
Plato: "Mom? What does a boy have to do to help a girl make a baby?"
GAH!!! He's only 7!!
Deep Coma, Big Karma - Just winding down for the moment. The Blogosphere is not what it was in the *Two Thousand And Somethings*, and discourse has largely morphed itself off els...