Sunday, March 18, 2007

Hot Boots

I have a few precious moments...The kids are watching Scooby-Doo 2 for about the 20th time in Plato's room, and JeepMan is glued to the NCAA tournament games. I don't have a lot of interest in watching game after game after game, so I am taking some mommy-time.

I was sick with a nasty cold yesterday (still am today), so JeepMan took the kids to the in-laws by himself. He hates doing this and I got the cold shoulder a lot of yesterday morning and evening. I don't know what the big deal is; I don't care if I have to take the kids to my folks without him. I guess he just wants to spread the misery around: my mother-in-law IS quite a specimen (a subject, no doubt, of a future blog).

Anyhow, I was at the breakfast table this morning, asking the kids how it went yesterday. The Boss pipes up with, "WE HAD FUN MOM!"

I said that was good, and Plato says, "Mom, I saw a girl at the resturant and she was HOT!" He really emphasized HOT, grinding out the H like he was hocking a loogie; similar to the "CH" sound that people who know how to properly pronounce "Chanukkah" use.

I was speechless (as usual), and JeepMan about spit out his French Toast laughing.

I decided to see if I could steer the conversation in a useful direction. "What about her was hot?"

"Well, she was bigger than me though," was the offhand reply.

I refused to let it go at that. "But what makes you say she was hot?"

He pondered a moment, then offered, "Well she was wearing HOT boots!"

As vague as that may sound, I could already picture the little skank in my mind. I was preparing to continue the interrogation when JeepMan offered the useful comment: "Oh, yeah... I saw her too! She had on a tight green shirt and a little black skirt with those boots."

I gave up. Obviously she made a lasting impression on a few men last night.

I got to thinking, though, I don't recall even knowing that boys existed until I was at least in 3rd grade...and that was only because one declared that he had a crush on me. Are kids these days that much more sexualized at earlier ages? I suppose it makes sense. Between the media and other kids I suppose it's unavoidable. I will just have to ramp up the efforts to keep the conversations open. And to keep JeepMan from egging him on.

I imagine he won't think it's so funny when it's his little girl making the comments or getting the attention!

So then I gave the rugrats a bath. I still let them bathe together. I have been wondering when I should stop doing that, but it's so much more convenient for consolidating time and mess-containment! Anyway, it's scenarios like this that really make me wonder if it's about time to separate them at bath time:

I was blowdrying my hair and observing their play, making sure the floor didn't flood and nobody drowned. It's all fun and games, as you know, until someone gets a lungful of bathwater. Anyway, the kids were playing with The Boss' little mermaid dolls.

(Yes, I let my son play with dolls. As evidenced above, I don't have any qualms about it conflicting his future gender-preference!)

Anyway, they were role playing some kind of "Super-Mermaid" scenario.

It went like this:

Plato: My mermaid has WAVE-POWER!! (appropriate sound effects)

The Boss: MY MUH-MAID HAB HAIR-POWUH!! (more sound effects)

Plato: MY mermaid has WATER-POWER!!

The Boss: MY MUH-MAID HAB STINKY BUM-BUM POWUH!! (maniacal laughter)

Plato: (giggling) My mermaid has TAIL-POWER!!

The Boss: MY MUH-MAID HAB PENIS POWUH!!

OK, NOW I had to intervene: "HEY, Knock it off you wackos!!"

I can't help but think that if she hadn't been in the bathtub with her brother this comment wouldn't have been made...

Yeah, I think it's about time to give them separate baths.