The Cop-Out Post

Since I haven't posted lately, and can't make my brain think anything creative OR coherent right now...and since I'm feeling guilty about it, I've decided to post someone else's funny tonight. I don't know who authored this (I got it in an email), and can't give due credit, but it IS creative and funny, and will have to do for now:

DISCOVERY OF THE HEAVIEST ELEMENT

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical morass."

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Thank you, thank you. More later. Next week I might be home for 3 whole weekdays! Yay!

On a vaguely related note, I am thrilled to hear of Penelope's latest idea: What The Crap Wednesdays. Now there's something I can run with! I'll be sure to announce when she has it up and running!