Sunday, December 13, 2009

Lulu Out of Left Field

My 5 year old blows my mind.  I swear she's 5 going on 15.

Which scares the bejeezus out of me.

Now, we are fairly selective in the TV we let the kids watch; I even turn off some of the "kids' shows" on Nickelodeon because I don't think they're age-appropriate to a 5 year old.  So I ask you, where the HELL did this scenario come from?


I had gotten out of the shower and was standing wrapped in a towel getting my hair, makeup, etc done.  We don't have much modesty in our house, so the bathroom door was open.  Lulu wandered in and was watching me get ready. 

Soon she walked over and said, "Mommy, you look beautiful." I thanked her (so sweet) and she then observed that my towel looked like a pretty dress.  I laughed and said it kind of did, and that she had a good imagination.

She then pulled aside the towel a bit and said, "But you wouldn't really wear this as a dress 'cause everyone would see your naked, right? Well, except Daddy.  Thats ok, right?"

I laughed again and said she was correct. 

She was thoughtful for a bit.  "Mommy?"

"What, Sweetie?"

"Well, um.... have any of your ex-boyfriends seen your naked?" she asked, the picture of kindergarten innocence.

After I un-swallowed my own tongue, I smoothly lied, "Oh, gosh, no honey!"

"Why not?" Again with the wide eyes.

"Well, I mean... because."

Blank stare.

"Well, because people don't show other people 'their naked' unless they're family or married."

She mulled this over and her little chin jutted out. "Well!  That just makes me SAD," she said in her best 15 year old voice.

"Why would you say THAT?" I countered.

"Because I think all your ex-boyfriends should have gotten to see your naked!!!"

And with that she stalked off.

If I'd had the guts, I would have chased her down and interrogated her till she spilled. 

But I'm a chicken, and I do NOT want to cross that road just yet. 

(forehead slap)


fairyhedgehog said...

Oh my word! Aren't kids great at finding ways to throw you off course?

Tiff said...

Where does she come up with these thoughts? She kills me!

And also - liar, liar, pants on fire!

writtenwyrdd said...

ROFL!!!! You better hope she doesn't remember this conversation after she grows up, lol.