Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Rip Roarin awards

I'm off in another city for the week. I flew out of "colder than an Eskimo fart, midwest" and landed in "colder than a snotcicle, midwest.." where the weather is comparatively balmy. In this post, I will finally address my lovely purple lion award, bestowed upon me about a month ago (maybe longer?) by my separated-at-birth blogfriend: SUV Mama.

The award was given to me for my ability to write, and in doing so to crack people up. Humor is the writing I do best, because it takes little effort and I naturally put a funny spin on things that happen in my everyday life. It's just part of my personality. I like to see the positive in life, and for me many of the positives are extracted from situations by looking at it from a different angle, hopefully a humorous one.

I do write other stuff. I like sensory writing: trying to help the audience see/hear/taste/touch/smell what I am describing. I like to do descriptive pieces about people I know - for example, I wrote the eulogy for my grandmother's funeral a few years ago. I like to write dialogue; it lends so much to most stories, and if used well, can really convey a lot about the speaker(s) without using glaring descriptors.

I don't know where this is going or if it's making much sense to anyone but me....I'll do the assignment now: Three Writing Tips and Five Bloggers.

1). Make Time To Write. (subtitle: practice what you preach). I know I haven't been the best at this what with my wacky schedule lately and my, uh, sabbatical in the Fall. Ok, just because I don't always follow it doesn't mean it isn't good advice. We SHOULD make time to write. Those of us who write for enjoyment should make time for said enjoyment. If you don't like writing, or find it a chore, you probably shouldn't be doing it! You all may think I'm nuts (or CrayZee =p), but I'm just going to throw this factoid out there: If I haven't written for a while, I start THINKING in prose. Example: I'm watching the kids play and start thinking, "Lulu crept quietly behind Plato, eased his precious toy bunny out of his arms with typical 3-year-old stealth, then took off at full toddler speed, shrieking and cackling like a maniac as Plato, protesting loudly, gave chase." Ok, maybe that's not "normal," but it's what starts happening if I don't actually write!! And no, I don't hear voices. At least, not many. Writing simply purges my brain and makes room for more.

2). Keep Your Voice. You know how you write. It flows from your brain into your fingertips and out into or onto your medium of choice. Let it flow. Don't second guess your writing style (unless your goal is to get published, then you might have to bend a little...). Your style is you. It's what makes your writing yours and no one else's. If you want to do writing exercises, try on new styles, or stretch your skills, by all means, do so. It may even shed light on a new style element that you'd like to adopt! Your style is dynamic and ever-evolving, but it's still yours. Claim it, own it.

3). Don't hate me for this one. If you're just keeping a journal for you and you alone, you can ignore this. But if you write for any kind of audience, please oh please PROOFREAD. Even just once. Perfect spelling and/or punctuation are not the issue here. Your writing should make sense and have some sort of flow. In my humble opinion, it's a polite courtesy; it says you care about what you write and that you care about your audience. You may disagree. You're allowed!

So that's my three cents. And now my five awards:



1). My BFF and the funniest chick I know: Monnik at Frazzled But Loving It. I've known her forever (almost) and she's always been able to effortlessly crack me up. She's an excellent writer and storyteller, and manages to organize her random thoughts very, very well. Read "The Tenacious Turd" and "The Secret Potty" for some mom-of-small-children ROTFLMAO moments.

2). I gotta give a "rightbackatcha" to Jess at SUV Mama. No, she doesn't have to do the tasks. But I LOVE her blog. She's this wonderful mix of fiery, ass-kickin', name-takin' She-Ra and warm-hearted, sentimental, die-for-my-children mother. She writes about her life, and lets us see her vulnerable side, all the while she making sure we know she doesn't really care what we think about it. She is who she is, take it or leave it. I'm taking it. My favorite recent post addresses the power of words.

3). Just a short hop across the internet (and the big pond) is Debbielou at One Day Closer Until...blogging from the UK. Even if this woman didn't write well I would have to stop by just to get my fill if british-isms. Fortunately she writes very well, and is a real pleasure to read. Her story about her Valentine's Day adventure is sure to have you cringing and snorting at the same time!

4). I am sure he has received numerous awards, but I have to give a nod to my favorite tall Texan, Travis, at One Word, One Rung, One Day. This guy is actually working on a BOOK, and I guar-uhn-tee he will be published one day! In the meantime he blogs about writing, family, and life - usually with a humorous spin. Now he's been writing a long time, and I certainly haven't read all his posts, but one sticks out clearly in my mind - the one that originally hooked me: The Art of Regifting. Travis, if you've already done this assignment, you get a pass. But you DO deserve the award!

5). Finally, my latest hero: MonkeyGirl at Musings of a Highly Trained Monkey. This hard-as-nails ER nurse isn't afraid to tell it like it is, in a HIPPA-compliant fashion of course. She touches something real in anyone who has ever worked in healthcare. She might be too much for the thin-skinned, or the eternal optimist. Healthcare has a dark side, and MonkeyGirl isn't afraid of it. Ever wonder how healthcare professionals take so much crap, and just keep coming back for more? This blog is an anthology of rants, with some real humanity thrown in for good measure. Check out her Sumdood Sightings post. MonkeyGirl, you can just take the award. You've earned it...love the tin foil hat!!

So there! My task is done! Thanks for the award, Jess. And keep on writing, everyone!


Remember: Three Writing Tips and Five Nominations!

Anyone Buy This?

In what might be the shortest blog run in history, The Dawn has taken down her blog. To that end, she has left only this enigmatic comment on Nurse K's blog :

"Hey this Is Melissa. Dawn, aka- Danny my 17 year old kid brother, has been banished from my computer. Since he doesn't have access to one of his own Dawn has ben cancelled. I have my doubts that any of you are what you claim to be, but just in case you are here are a few final words. K I am sure you can be counted on to spread the word among cohorts that you have been had by a kid. Tell scalpel he is the only one of you that doesn't come across as a loon. His graphic description of herpes should serve as a fair warning to the wise whether he is a M.D. or not. As to the rest of you . Get a LIFE"

Now maybe this is true, but do I buy it? Naw.

Why? It's too EASY. See, The Dawn strikes me as someone who can't stand to lose (personal injury attorney). Taking down the blog destroys most evidence of her, stops the ridicule, and gives her a simple no-fault excuse for doing so; all while thumbing her nose at us and saying the joke's on us. What greater pleasure could she ask for? And to the credit of The Dawn, it's hard for me to buy the idea that a 17-year-old boy could come up with the bizarro stuff she did. Granted, her composition abilities were on par with a 17 year old of any gender, but the rest just doesn't fit. Barring all else, the fact that she started all this crap with an incendiary comment on MonkeyGirl's blog on a post about the death of a patient just doesn't jibe with "17 year old boy. " I would imagine medblogs would be more the trolling grounds of a "personal injury attorney," not a high-school-boy trying to pull off some elaborate hoax.

In addition to the above observations, I noticed that "Melissa" has a surprisingly similar writing style to The Dawn: grammar, misspellings, punctuation errors; I do note that she has adopted capital letters again. And the name-drops are, on the surface at least, non-famous.

Now I'll admit that I am not, in fact, a profiler for the FBI or anything, I'm just going with my gut here. But the laugh's on you, The Dawn. You're not fooling anyone. You're reading this right now, aren't you?

Go on, leave an anonymous post. Better yet, adopt a new persona. We're all waiting.

Dawn's Blog

2/11/08-2/13/08

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's Been Real...

...it's Been Fun. But my Fun with The Dawn is Done.

Done. Done. Done. Gotta Run. See Ya, Hon!

Name Drop Alert: Dr. Seuss

Not very inspired, but I'm tired.

Somebody stop me!

On to other subjects tomorrow. 'Night.

Greetings from The Road

Well here I sit in my lovely hotel suite with about an hour on my hands. I have been out-and-about visiting my favorite blogs - check out MonkeyGirl's latest controversial post with 47 comments (and one new, uhm, Interesting Blog). I can't decide if "The Dawn" is for real or if she really just has mixed-type delusional disorder...regardless her brand-spankin'-new blog should provide for some amusement, albeit possibly the eye-rolling kind.
--------------------------------------

Back already? Ok, here we go!

I am at an Embassy Suites which I am sure would be the Dollar General of hotels to The Dawn. Certainly she only stays at Ritz-Carltons or elitist (AHEM...) EXCLUSIVE resorts where she can make sure her Rolex is properly safeguarded and her anthropologist-cum-rock-star husband can find a secluded retreat from the flock of passenger pigeons that inevitably follow him everywhere. Oh, I forgot, they're extinct. Likely at the hand of The Dawn.

I am at the dollar general hotel chain in pursuit of education "[ej-oo-key-shuh n]." Although I was NOT the valedictorian of my class, and my friends (yes I had them and still do!) are not flipping burgers anywhere (they are all quite successful, thank you), I have managed to scrape together the relatively puny (compared to The Dawn) complement of brain cells I was born with and make something of myself. Although I was an ICU nurse for 6 years, and a cardiac electrophysiology nurse for the last 6 years, I am taking a refresher course over the next 6 weeks in cardiac electrophysiology.

That's where we go up into people's hearts and purposefully try to put them into malignant and/or lethal arrhythmias, study those arrythmias while making sure the patient doesn't die on the table, make three-dimensional geometric maps of the heart chamber, and voltage-time maps that we can superimpose upon this gathered geometry, creating a very good picture of what exactly is happening in this patient's heart. Then we burn the culprit area, do some follow up testing, and more often than not the patient goes home and never has the same heart problem again.

Shucks, I know I'm no Personal Injury Attorney, but Darn it, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it....people LIKE me.

Providing services that help doctors save lives, or bilking honest hardworking folks out of money they don't have because a "client" suffered whiplash (*gasp!*) and emotional distress (*wail!*)?
I'm torn, but I'm going to have to go with Saving Lives.

Before anyone gets their size-zero panties in a bunch, I know that there are people out there with legitimate claims, and I know The Dawn helps them too. But I can HONESTLY say I have never provided my services to dramatize and inflate claims of "personal injury" at the expense of an innocent someone-else.

Looking down from her lofty moral high ground as she does on my sister-in-the-trenches MonkeyGirl, maybe The Dawn can say that too.
.....riiiiiiight.

"But..." you say.
Ok, taxpayers don't count. It's not my choice to give healthcare to our country's orange-jumpsuited, shackled and cuffed "sickly" who are frequently looking for a vacation from the Big House and the guaranteed attention of any female, attractive or not. But it's my professional obligation. And I do it with an outward smile.

Then vent in a HIPPA-compliant fashion.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Nostalgia

So last night I had a dream about this cereal I used to love. Of course I didn't remember the name, but I remembered the cereal: flying-saucer-shaped sugar puffs that tasted almost exactly like Cap'n Crunch, except the rounded shape of this cereal didn't shred your gums or the roof of your mouth like its current counterpart. I wracked my brain this morning trying to remember what it was called, finally gave up, and the answer came to me (of course) while I was taking a pee. Yeah, that's where I do some of my best thinking....in the bathroom.

Anyone, Anyone? Bueller?

Here it is:




Remember? I loved it!!!

So then I got to thinking about all the things I used to love but aren't around anymore. Like Nabisco Heyday Bars, Tato Skins, and PB Maxx.



So then I found this website that I just had to share:


http://www.inthe80s.com/food/

It's a treasure trove of discontinued and/or nostalgic foods from the 80's era.

It's there that I remembered things like O'Boisies, I-Screams Cookies, and Burger Buddies:















Fruit Stripe Gum


And the product that sustained my body during my early college years:


Not the guy. I don't know the guy. But he's holding a TACO BELL CHILITO. Oh, how I miss chilitos..

Things gone, but not forgotten. Visit the website. If you are wondering where anything in particular went, ask a question under, "Unknown."

There's one product that I am sorry I missed out on, and it created the most nostalgia on the list. Anyone remember Malt-Duck Malt Liquor? It has apparently achieved cult status amongst the 70's kids.

Dang. I' m hungry. See ya!