What is Hot? A Photo-Essay

What. Is. Hot?

A question with many answers, none of them wrong. One could say Hot is as Hot does. But not for everyone. Sometimes Hot is as Hot looks. Sometimes Hot is a total package. The bottom line is this: Hot is as Hot is perceived. By the Hot-ician.

Ok, I'm losing myself here. Focus, focus.

Inspired by a former post of SUV Mama's, I decided to compose a photo tribute to Hotness, from my own perspective, with commentary. Here goes:

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Hey, I like to look at a pretty face as much as the next gal...So right up there on my hotness list are two "givens:"

Johnny Depp - I believe this is circa "21 Jump Street" or a bit later, although it doesn't really matter what era you reference, this guy does it for me...and millions of women the world over. Heck, my 15 year old cousin has posters of him on her wall! A man whose hotness transcends age (and, I suspect, gender:)

And you can't say "hot" without good 'ol Brad Pitt. Pretty Boy Extraordinaire. I love him in Meet Joe Black - also love the movie although many don't think of the movie as one of his outstanding pics. Boyish, seemingly vulnerable, and assumably unaware of the magnitude of his sex appeal (though I secretly doubt this), he is the subject of many a woman's fantasy, I am sure.

We will now take a detour from mega-mass-marketed hotness.

For the transitional male hottie, I've chosen Michael Buble. He's got a kind of James Dean/Frank Sinatra thing going on. Again, boyish, but with a voice that's an audio orgasm. Have you heard this man sing? Dark chocolate for the ears....mmmmm.

On to even less....conventional...appeal. Here's a man that not everyone is familiar with. When I confessed to my husband that I find this guy attractive, he just gave me a blank stare. "Why?" he asked. "He's old, skinny, and smokes like a chimney!"

Hey, I didn't say I wanted to SLEEP with the guy. I just find him attractive! This, folks, is Anthony Bourdain. Star of the Travel Channel show, No Reservations. He's a former chef of some fancy restaurant turned-author turned-TV star.

What's sexy about him? He can cook. He can write. He has a wicked sarcastic wit and a sharp tongue. He's real - no BS. On top of it all, he's humble. Self-effacing even. Combine that with decent looks and for me, you have a cocktail for sexy.

You've heard the way to a woman's heart is through her brain? So true. How else can you explain all the stunning women out there running around with average or less-than-average looking men?

Which brings me to the final man on this post....A man who manages to combine many of the factors of the above men into one very nice package (pardon the euphemism). He's the star of the TV show Dirty Jobs on Discovery Channel. Here's Mike Rowe, folks:

Here's a man about as humble as they come, or at least he pulls off sincere humility better than Brad Pitt. He's got a rapier witt (or is that "rapist wit"? - Dumb and Dumber anyone?).

He's got a twisted and naughty sense of humor. He has a very manly physique, untainted by the oh-so-popular metrosexuality trend. His voice is like buttah. And he ain't afraid to get dirty. There's something very viscerally attractive to me about a man with all his qualities who manages to maintain that aura of genuineness and accessibility.

Sure, you could say it's probably all a facade. But I'm willing to buy what this guy is selling.

And tip generously.

This is not the end, folks. There is one more man on this list. He's the culmination of all these qualities bundled into one smokin'-hot package. Who can this man be, you may ask? You'll have to wait. This man deserves a whole post all to himself. Is it worth it? Oh, yeaah....

Any guesses in the meantime?